Wow-whee!
I just had my Secretary bag all my mail from the past two weeks — she just brought it all in here. ZOINKS– there is A LOT of mail!
I guess I better get to opening and responding, huh? Okay, let me just pull out a handful and answer them on the spot.
Junk mail.
Junk mail.
Lost child handbill.
50% off my next purchase of a personalized photo throw rug …
Letter for jury duty.
Ahhh, here’s one.
When Will the Lunacy End?
Reader: I just heard the Texas Rangers signed Closer, Eric Gagne to a one year/8 million dollar contract. Wow! I was hoping the Red Sox would get him for about $3 to 4 million.
Fen, San Diego
Adam: No, that would be much too cheap for the Red Sox. Supposedly Boston was prepared to pay Gagne’s agent in the ballpark of $40 million just for the rights to talk to the relief pitcher. If accepted, they then hoped to try to negotiate a multi-year contract in the neighborhood of $10 million/year. When informed the $40 million exclusive negotiating rights weren’t necessary, the Sox got frazzled and pulled out — threatening to turn their interest towards over-paying some unproven South African middle relievers. Gagne’s people tried to reassure the Bostonians that they could sign Gagne without even throwing the $40 million rights fee into the package. Boston refused, saying the $40 mil was mandatory and imposed a one week deadline for Gagne to accept their terms. I guess Gagne and his agent got sick of the nonsense and quickly turned around and signed with Texas.
Ahhh, here’s another one — it’s in a light blue envelop. How quaint
What Will the Padres Do?
Reader: I have been very disappointed with San Diego’s off-season. They came in bragging about how they finally have tons of money to spend and were looking for a big name to help boost attendance etc. Instead, they are slower, older and believe it or not, even more anemic with the bat than before they started. Do they even have anyone who can hit it out of the infield?
Mikey, Vista
Adam: Reports are out that the Padres are about to sign a 2 year deal with Absolutely Nobody. The 2 year deal is reportedly worth $30 million…with a no trade clause that will totally crush any future flexibility in signing or trading for anyone of any significance.
What Are You Doing Tonight?
Reader: Hey you, had fun last night. Bet you didn’t know females were that flexible. You up for a rematch? Why don’t you gi…
Leah, San Diego
Adam: Heh heh {BLUSH} OMG, Whoops! {crumble, crumble} How did that one get in here? {blush} Ahem. Let’s just move on to the next one shall we?
10 Yard Penalty:
Reader: I feel the NFL has become a pansy league. You get penalized for almost everything these days. Which do you feel are the worse rules?
Charles, Denver
Adam: I agree there are a lot of lame ones out there right now. Atop the list are… the defensive holding call that results in an automatic first down (even if its 3rd and 45. I’d rather it just be a big yardage-penalty like say 15 or 20 yards); the 15 yard penalty for whispering sweet nothings at the line- of-scrimmage (hey, come on, sometimes, players are just in the mood); the 5 yard penalty for coughing without covering your mouth; the unnecessary roughness call for touching a quarterback anywhere above the belt or below the thigh…and of course, any penalty that helps the Broncos
Who’s At First…errr… Second?
Reader: I heard the Atlanta Braves released Marcus Giles. Considering the Padres chased after him hard and almost traded Scott Linebrink for him, do you think he could wind up at Petco Park?
Cynthia, Chula Vista
Adam: Yes, if I were a betting man (I’m not — I just flip coins), but if I were, I’d bet the younger Giles was coming to San Diego. He would come without the Padres having to give up their valuable set-up man and supposedly at a cheaper salary than if he would have been traded here directly from the Braves. Plus, he really wants to play here and be with his brother! Now, the bigger question is — do you think it will be Giles, Giles and Gonzalez atop the batting order? That’s three G’s
Just for fun, they should bat Greene clean-up.
Let me grab a few more letters here…
NP What?:
Reader: It was repeatedly reported this morning on NPR that the Chargers have clinched home field advantage throughout the playoffs. This is why I don’t rely on NPR for sports news. I guess that’s not a question. Sorry.
David, Hillcrest
Adam: Uhm, yeah. Thanks (eyes roll) Dave.
Where Will Clemens Land?
Reader: Do you think Clemens will return to the Show in 2007? If so, do you think he’ll land with Houston? Boston? or New York?
Terri, San Jose
Adam: The Yankees see Clemens as the final piece to their Retirement-Home starting rotation. Mike Mussina (39), Randy Johnson (43), Andy Pettitte (34), Clemens (44) are about 350 combined innings shy of walking to the mound with the support of cleated-canes. In fact, the Yankee brass enjoys the idea of having the oldest pitching staff this side west of the Mississippi -over-60- Sunday-softball league so much, that they are quietly taking offers for youthful staff ace Chien-Ming Wang (only 26). They are seeking another seasoned vet in return. If they can’t find a suitor, and if the oft-injured, Carl Pavano doesn’t satisfy the coaching staff by March, rumor has it that the Yanks were thinking of asking former all-star, Ron Guidry, to leave his spot on the bench and fill in as their 5th or 6th starter. Stay tuned…
Running Bases:
Reader: The Padres have had a disappointing off-season. A lot of subtractions, a few luke-warm additions. Can you think of any late moves they could make to fill remaining holes in LF and 2B? Do you think this guy Bud Black from Anaheim can steal as many bases as Dave Roberts did?
Daveson, Las Vegas
Adam: Sensing he couldn’t steal as many bases as Dave Roberts, Bud went ahead and stole Dave’s cleats. He also ‘borrowed’ Roberts’ love letters from his wife and two rolls of TP from his guest bathroom. He figured, if he couldn’t steal more bases than the former Padres, he could at least steal more stuff than the former Padre. By the way, make sure you lock your car doors this year if you park at the stadium…
ps. I hear Allen Iverson is in the mix for the left field job
Okay, one more fan letter…
Fantasyland:
Reader: One of my three solid RB’s — Ronnie Brown — is probably out again next week, and it’s playoff time! Who should I start in my swing (RB/WR) position? My bench choices are… Laurence Maroney vs HOU, Cedric Houston at MIN, Chris Chambers at BUF or Greg Jennings vs DET? I’m leaning toward Maroney, despite NE’s unpredictability.
ps. For some reason, I passed over LT in the first round of my fantasy draft in order to select LJ. In other news, CHI defense is the second highest scoring “player” in my league. So who is more screwed up…. me for not selecting LT, or a league scoring system that allows a DEF to be the second best player? (…and BAL is third!)
Ennema, Boston
Adam: Ennema, I can’t believe my blog has fallen soo low that we are actually talking about fantasy football. I’m so ashamed. But since we’ve resorted– SHAME on YOU for picking Larry Johnson over LaDanian Tomlinson! You deserve to be playing in a league that has Chicago’s Defense coming in as the second-best player in an offensive stat driven race. Shame-on-you! And oh by the way, I’d say go with Malroney.


